They always turn up at the most unexpected times...

It has officially been too long...but there is good news! There are new prospects! I really like him :D

Madtown Man is half Puerto Rican so he has dark features. Very athletic and confident. Not too confident tho...he has a quiet, modest side.

We always hung out when I was in school, and shamelessly flirted, making stupid jokes-most with some sort of sexual connotation. He never put much effort into anything more between the two of us and so I didn't either. It was harmless and I never thought too much of it becuase it was that "just for fun" date. There was always a flirtation but nothing serious came out of it until very lately.

I found out why he never made a move. He's a virgin, drinks only the legal amount, and does his own thing. He could never be called a skeez, a slob, or clingy. Needless to say-he's awesome!

As a side note I want to say that---Maybe the whole virgin idea should be common at the young age of 20-but in my opinion. It couldn't be more uncommon then if I was pushing 25.

So we kept in touch as I moved back up north to the city. I loved it because I just let him contact me....I got attention and I loved it. :) I visited my friends and saw him a few times before summer came. Then, he moved out to San Francisco for the summer to work. It was a little sad because I though summer would have been good timing to see where it would go.

Then he invited me out to SF. At one point he even offered to pay for it! (I thought that might include some level of committment so I declined) Now I am planning a trip out to California with a friend. I am excited to see him and my friend as well. Yet another American city to add to my list! What a great reason to be jet-setting....an unattached love interest.

I remain the least interested of the two and I am still enjoying the attention. I mean, what right minded gal doesn't?

Start with goodbye...

Recently I experienced a falling out with two of my closest friends. Something happened to me personally, forgive me for not going into detail, but it put the ultimate strain on my life about a year ago. I was suddenly unaware of what kind of person I was, and who I was to become. It happened a year ago and I struggled through it and came out on top.

A year has passed and it has come back to haunt me. The original incident involved my friend, the Behemian, in a second-hand way. Instead of being there for me and helping me through it, she turned into the ultimate enemy. She pushed blame onto my shoulders and instead of my problems being MY problems, it turned into HER unfortunate, personal issue. She proclaimed that we could no longer be friends after "What I did to her", which again, was nothing directly. In her rage she called me by some of the worst labels a person can be given and basically made me relive my personal struggle all over again.

She went so far as to say that I need to get over myself and realize that, "For once, this isn't about me." I'm on the other end thinking, "Something bad happens to ME, and one of my "best friends" gets mad at ME for it, and blames ME. How, may I ask is this not about me?" I'm not proud of it and I wish it was about someone else!

My other good friend is an innocent bystander that knew of my dilemma all along. She knew that it affected my other friend and urged me never to say anything. Something else happened recently and this friend told me, 'If you EVER decide to tell the bohemian, I will be there to back you up no matter what."

A month or so later, I couldn't help but tell the Bohemian because she was my friend and although I knew it would hurt her for a while, I thought she could understand what I went through and be there for me.

Instead, she didn't understand at all, as explained in the beginning. To top things off, my other so-called "best friend" turned around and basically took the Bohemian's side! So both of my friends are turning on me in my time of need. What to do?

I'm a strong girl. What I went though probably made me stronger...but this has to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm turning my back on the past. I went through a hell-bound relationship with a man, and now again, I've discovered, with my two closest friends. I've realized that I was more of a friend than either of them was to me.

I know I will always have my family and I have made new friends that actually care and understand. And instead of resting in the past and sulking over lost memories and the people I once cared for, I'm saying goodbye to the past and hello to an exciting future!

The Final Word

The ex, or B man as my friends and I refer to him occasionally, had that air of confidence that all woman find attractive. But under that confidence lay an array of deep seated issues. I, as a perfect girlfriend, did everything I could to help him. In the end, it was burdonsome and I had to let go. Sooner or later I missed the rest of what we had had together, and so I went back.

Why? That question may never be answered completely. The fact of the matter is that I respected him for the way he treated me and his general persona. I loved him and thought that nothing else mattered.

My earth shattered when I found out about the other 4 'call girls' of his life. One of which was another ex of his...He told me she was 'crazy' but apparently that didn't stop him from sleeping with her. And all four of them could have him, after hearing about it, it had to end. I thought about it for about a week. Then, in another utterly nauseating moment, I discovered the timing of it all. Let's say it bluntly: Every other night. Me, then his ex, me, then his ex.

Needless to say it ended in one huge explosion. (His ex actually called me! We were both oblivious to the facts and confronted him....together. Imagine his face for a second-priceless)

But it was just last night, two months later and we meet up for coffee. General small talk and then....

Me: What is your motive in all of this? Why did you call me?

Him: (long pause) I was looking at old pictures and i miss you a little. I guess I can see myself dating you again, but right now im just doing what feels right....hanging out again.

Me: Okay i just want this to be resolved. I wouldn't ever date you again because of our history, no matter how much I enjoy talking to you.

Him: Okay.

Me: So what do you want out of this.

Him: uh. i don't know.

Me: The way I see it, you have two choices. 1. We could be aquaintances...talk if we ran into each other or randomly say Happy Birthday and be okay with it or 2. Not be friends and totally cut it off.

Him: At this point, and I could be making a rash decision but I can't be friends. I still have feelings and I'd never call you "just to hang out or go get drinks" But you are welcome to call if you ever want to talk or hang out.

Me: Nope, If that is what you want...Im not going to be your friend either. That's okay i just need to know which one so we can end on good terms and just have the whole situation resolved. I just want to say i do care about ya and wish the best for you. Im moving past everything....no hard feelings.


And that was it, we hugged and said goodbye and then it was done. I don't know if we'll ever really talk again but it feels good to finally resolve it.


Now Reader, you may be thinking..."Why the hell would you go talk to him at all after what he did?" Well, to put it simply...I hated hating a person i gave so much of my energy to. I don't want to hate anyone in life, much les a person I said 'I love you' to. That is precisely why.

The point is that, after a certain amount of time, any two rational adults can resolve any rocky situation. Just cutting something off will never settle anything. That doesn't clear your own conscious because you will always think about it, be bitter about it, or wonder 'what if.'

Having the final word feels good and anyone can do it by staying calm, forgiving, and saying goodbye. Now you have the upper hand on getting over someone...and trust me when I say that it will happen ten times faster if you have closure.